It’s a hot summer day, and I’m sweaty, frustrated with my closet, and wishing I could go back to bed. As I’m getting dressed, my eye wanders to the totes of sweaters, coats, and Halloween decor in the back of my closet. Oooh. A chai latte with one pump of pumpkin spice (my personal fall drink hack), a cozy sweater, and Friday the 13th? Sign me the heck up. Next thing I know, I’ve put myself in full fall mode. I’m scouring the Internet for new clothes, buying every candle with “spice” in the name, and clearing out Trader Joe’s Honey Crisp Apple Cider stock. Then, I have two months until it actually gets cold — I’m forced to get my PSL iced in the meantime! (An iced PSL should honestly be a crime.)

In true Beth fashion, I turn to my beauty routine to make it feel like it’s fall even when it’s not. The best new arrival to get me through the next month of 80 degree days? FabFitFun! I go back to FabFitFun every season to try new products, stay up-to-date on the latest trends, and help me get in the spirit without having to call in for reinforcements (AKA putting my AC on 60).

 

You’ve heard me rave about FabFitFun over and over again, but here’s why I keep sticking around:

 

#1. FFF works on a seasonal basis, which is truly the most perfect arrangement. I’m not hauling every single month, but I get to try new products every season. By the time the next box comes, I’ve had the time to figure out my final review of everything and decide what works and what doesn’t.

#2. From body scrubs to bathrobes to highlighters to fitness gadgets, there are always products in the box for everyone. The box is really customizable too. Once you sign up, you’ll get to choose between certain products, meaning you’ll always get the stuff you want. Then, anything I don’t need or want gets gifted to friends and family! 

#3. Subscription services are a little scary sometimes, but FFF makes it so easy. It’s a no-frills, no-BS sign-up. You sign up now and get the current box, and you can skip seasons or cancel at any time. I love transparency, especially when I’m spending my hard-earned cash on it.

#4. Who doesn’t love a good deal? The value on this box is insane — it always values over $200 (usually more), but it costs less than my monthly Internet bill (and is even less with our code below!). I always feel like I’m getting my money’s worth with this box.

 

Scroll down for a sneak peek of the fall box! If you’re too excited to wait (we don’t blame you), click here to order and use code “EVERYGIRL” for $10 off your first box! 

 

 

Fall 2019 FabFitFun Box Preview

Use code EVERYGIRL for $10 off your first box

 

Don’t forget: use the code EVERYGIRL for $10 off your first box!

 

 

This post was in partnership with FabFitFun, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board.

The post Unboxing: The FabFitFun Fall 2019 Box! See Why It’s Already Selling Out… appeared first on The Everygirl.

When you douse your skin in moisturizers and vitamin C daily, never leave the house without SPF, and would rather be caught dead than sleep in makeup, you expect glowing, baby-soft skin in return — so, when you aren’t getting it and instead are greeted with dullness and aging, it can be confusing. If you love your skin and still wonder why it isn’t loving you back, it may be something else that’s wreaking havoc on your skin.

There are two little words on many a skincare product that are easy to be ignored but could be the key to all of your skin woes: pH balanced.

It sounds overwhelming and something that’s worth glazing over (life is hard enough without revisiting 10th-grade science classes), but if your skin is constantly dry or irritated, your pH levels could be to blame — but what exactly does that mean?

 

What is pH?

To get into what exactly pH, we have to revisit some high school chemistry (remember those color-changing strips you dipped into different liquids to see where they fell on the scale?). If you want to get technical, the term pH, or potential of hydrogen, refers to “the activity of hydrogen ions (ions are molecules that carry a positive or negative charge) in a water-based solution.” How does this affect your skin? Because it’s made of mostly water, and its pH can alter how it retains it.

pH runs on a scale from 0-14, where anything below a 7 is considered acidic, and anything higher is considered alkaline. The skin’s surface is acidic — running at an average pH of 4.7 — and increases in acidity as we age. This number also varies based on the skincare we’re using on a daily basis. We want our skin to remain acidic to ensure our skin’s barrier can defend against aggressors. Overall, we want our skin to hover around a pH level of around 5.5.

 

What is the skin’s acid mantle?

The skin’s acid mantle is “is the protective film of natural oils, amino acids, and sweat that covers your skin,” according to Dr. Whitney Bowe in The New York Times. You can damage it with alkaline products, which can lead to “inflammation, allergies, and breakouts.” The sun can also damage our acid mantle, which makes it more difficult for the skin to repair itself.

The skin can handle minor changes to its pH, which everything from water —  which is a 7 on the pH scale — to pollution can cause. When it becomes a problem is when we’re using too many products that sways our skin’s pH into the alkaline range — which can cause issues like dryness and sensitivity. 

 

How to restore your skin’s pH balance

Since our skin is naturally acidic, it works best with acidic skincare products. Issues arise when we use products that are too alkaline — with a pH higher than a 7.

Unfortunately, the only way to know exactly what a product’s pH is is if the brand specifically provides it. If your cleanser leaves you with a tight, dry feeling, it could be a sign that the cleanser is too alkaline, which in turn disturbs your skin’s natural oils. 

A great place to start with re-balancing your skin is with your cleanser. Some brands put an emphasis on making sure the pH of their products are the sweet spot of a 5.5, which ensures that it isn’t stripping your skin of its moisture. Other gentle cleansers — like micellar water — can help to keep you balanced and moisturized. Swapping a harsh cleanser for a gentle, pH-balanced alternative can transform your skin.

 

Cleansers

 

According to Shari Marchbein, a dermatologist in New York, “Products with ingredients like glycerin, petrolatum, and hyaluronic acid can also help repair the skin barrier and replenish lost moisture,” she told the New York Times.

It’s also recommended that chemical exfoliants — like glycolic and lactic acid — should only be used once a week for dry and sensitive skin, and no more than three times a week for oily skin. Make sure that when you do use your acids, you immediately follow up with a moisturizer to help lock in the skin’s moisture.

 

 

Toners

Certain toners are also formulated to restore your skin’s pH level and get it closer to that coveted 5.5. Use on a cotton ball first thing after cleansing — before you put on moisturizer — for optimal results.

The post I Realized My Cleanser Was Sabotaging My Skin—Here’s How appeared first on The Everygirl.

I know what you’re thinking. “Either this bi*tch is crazy, or she’s seriously exaggerating.” To which I respond: “Yes and no!”

As I pack up the apartment I’ve lived in the last two years, I’m realizing I own a lot of stuff. While I’m totally for minimalism in most aspects of my life (I donate clothes about once a month, always go through old books, and pare down the photos stored on my phone quite frequently), my vanity is the one space I’m a full-blown maximalist. I’ll forego a lunch date if it means I can buy that new palette all over Instagram, and I add at least one drugstore beauty product to every Target run (even though I swear I’ll resist every time). 

So, I decided to have some fun, and I counted all the beauty products I’ve purchased this year, from makeup and skincare to hair products and body care. And ladies and gents, I’ve tried a lot. (No one tell my mom — I told her I got a handle on the Sephora habit from a few months ago, and it was a straight lie.) 

Obviously, not all of those products worked for me. So, what products actually make the cut? That’s why I’m here (yay!). I’m sharing all the new products I’ve tried this year that actually have changed my routine and made their way into my makeup bag. (I tried to cap it at 10, but I decided I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.) 

I didn’t include some of my holy grails (Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter, Hourglass Veil Setting Powder, Olaplex No. 6 Bond Smoother, and my beloved Milk Makeup Kush Mascara to name a few) because, honestly, I feel like I’ve bored you all (my amazing fans) with my love for them over and over again. Now, without further ado, my faves that you should absolutely buy because I want someone to talk about them with: 

What have you tried this year? Tell us your favorites in the comments!

 

The post I’ve Tried 100+ Beauty Products This Year—These Are the Ones I Recommend appeared first on The Everygirl.

As women in general, we talk a lot about timelines — where you should be in your career, when you should meet “The One,” how old you want to be when you get married, and the age it’s “smart” to start having children. The truth is that we often feel a lot of pressure to not only “have it all,” but when to have it.

The pressure to get married is especially strong for women in their 20s and 30s. All the single girls probably have heard “it’s time to settle down already!” from a nosy relative every Thanksgiving, and girls in relationships hear, “when are you going to tie the knot??” all too frequently. Loved ones often have expectations of when we should get married and who we should get married to. Since timelines never work out as planned, it leads to stress, disappointment, or even unhappiness and a lack of self-confidence when things don’t happen like you (or others) anticipated.

This video from one of our favorite skincare brands, SK-II, got us thinking about all these pressures we put on ourselves. It explores the lives of real women who are pursuing their own dreams, disregarding timelines along the way, and defying the expectations of loved ones. Since women around the globe share the same pressures, we wanted to hear from you about the pressure to get married, so we asked readers to share their experiences.

Watch SK-II’s video to learn more about the timeline society puts on women, then read on for real women’s perspectives about the pressures of getting married.

 

 

Selina, 30, San Antonio, TX

I definitely have a self-imposed pressure to get married. When I was younger I thought I would be married before 30, and maybe close to having my first kid. I can tell you now I’m not even close to any of that. The pressure I put on myself stems heavily from past societal norms. I get scared that if I don’t get married soon I will lose the chance to have a family. The pressure affects my relationship with my parents in some ways because I know they want that for me. My mom reminds me often that she wants grandchildren. It affects my relationship with my extended family (aunts and uncles) who always ask when I’m going to settle down or make snide comments on how I sure am focusing on my career — it has honestly caused me to avoid some family gatherings.

It’s also starting to affect my dating life. I’m starting to question if a relationship has marriage potential as opposed to just having fun and seeing where it goes. Mostly, I had this picture in my head of how my life would be. I’ve had to learn to let go of that pressure and accept that life rarely goes as planed, and remind myself there are many women in the position that I am. I will not let the pressure I put on myself make me not get what I want and I deserve. If I have to wait for it, it’ll be worth it in the end.

 

Delaney, 23, Claremont, California

Like so many of us, I really get caught up and brainwashed by the idea of having a “timeline” for my life. Most of my friends are either engaged, married, expecting children or already mothers! It’s wild how comparison can weigh on us if we allow it to. Sometimes I fall into the comparison trap and feel like I am falling behind at times. I definitely feel a continuous pressure to find my person and worry about when that time will come. It also doesn’t help going out to friend and family functions where everyone reminds me how great I am and continue to ask me “how are you still single?” or “when are you going to meet somebody?”

I know I have so much going for me. I’m a college graduate and have a steady job, good friends and family, opportunities to travel — but I still get in my head and frequently worry when I will meet my person and settle down. This creates unnecessary anxiety in my life that sometimes carries into my relationships and work. Everyone’s journey looks different and I shouldn’t feel “less than” just because I am not married or don’t  have marriage on the horizon. In reality, nobody is worried about my life timeline but me! It is entirely self-inflicted and I wish I didn’t spend so much time worrying about marriage when I have so much else going for me in my life. 

 

 

Sarah, 30, Las Vegas, NV

I’ve been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for a year. We met on a dating app and fell for each other immediately. I know he’s who I want to be with forever. But, the crazy part is I feel less self-imposed pressure to be married than what I did before we met. Before we met, I felt this immediate need to get married and have babies. Obviously, I still want those things and I am with the man I want to continue to share life with, but I feel so at ease to be present and enjoy the now with him. I look forward to those milestones now, but don’t want to rush past these moments.

 

Stephanie, 30, Seattle, WA

I struggled so much with this that I saw a therapist for six months to learn how to handle my anxiety and to try and ease the pressure I self-impose of having the “perfect life.” It negatively affected my confidence, it hurt my relationship with my partner, and it consumed me. 

 

Byanca, 25, Chicago, IL

I’ve been in a relationship for about seven years (rare high school sweethearts) and we are very much in love, openly talk about marriage, and want to get married. But I’m constantly battling myself in my head about if I should already be married or not. Friends around me are constantly getting engaged (and I am over the moon for them, genuinely) but we have no money. We decided to make the move from Michigan to Chicago and that took precedence over getting engaged, and I’m happy about our decision. My family is always making jokes about when we’re going to get engaged — and there were even some uncomfortable conversations had about us moving in together but not being married (which is absurd in my opinion, but to each their own). I take comfort in the fact that I know where we both stand on marriage and it’s something that I know will happen.

 

 

Anonymous

I put that pressure on myself because I know my parents want to be grandparents one day, and I want to give that to them before they are too old to enjoy it. I know you don’t have to be married to have kids; I also want the partner aspect for myself. My career has never been my top priority in life, but now that I’m almost 30, I kind of use that as an excuse as to why I’m single. “Oh, I have been focusing on my career and don’t have time to date.” Which is better than saying, “I’m trying, but no one seems to like me.”

 

McKenzie, 29, Indiana

I was always so hard on myself about getting married, and that that’s what had to happen after college. A year after graduation, my boyfriend proposed and I accepted — but almost immediately after saying yes, I started experiencing horrible anxiety. After countless amounts of breakdowns, I called off our wedding six months before the big day. I started therapy the next day and soon realized that I was putting so much pressure to getting married because I thought I had to stick to a timeline I was unrealistically pushing on myself. I can happily say my fiancé stayed by my side through therapy sessions and breakdowns to actually have me propose to him a year later. We’ve been married for two-and-a-half years and I couldn’t have made a better decision for myself. 

 

Ashley, 27, Phoenix, AZ

I was born and raised in North Dakota, and moved to Arizona a month after college graduation for my career. I’ve focused on it, but am still looking for a guy in the meantime. Every time I go back home, the residents from my hometown ask why I’m not married yet. I explain to them why and it’s like THE biggest disappointment to them. Literally, almost everyone from my graduating class is married and has at least one kid. I want to go to my 10-year reunion next year, but I don’t want to be judged just because I don’t have a man. I’m a strong believer that it’ll happen when it’s suppose to happen, but I’m also way too focused on it with all the dating apps on my phone.

 

Allana, 22, Virginia

My family jokes that we’re good at two things: getting married and having kids. Almost all of my family members were married with a child by the time they were 24, and I was always told that would happen for me too. I’m in a serious relationship of three years, and we know we want to get married, but the timing isn’t right just yet. Meanwhile, my family‘s favorite question to ask is when he’ll propose. I’d love if we could shift the focus from when we get married to how our relationship has developed. We have become immensely better people since we started dating, and I owe a lot of my personal growth to him.

 

Megan, 24, Los Angeles, CA

I went to a Catholic university where most of my friend met their future spouses in college, and have been getting married and starting to have children rapidly since graduation. Being single for that whole time just made me feel like I was left behind and that there was something wrong with me. Now that I’m at the start of a new relationship, I’m worried that I’m going to move too fast to “catch up.”

 

Christine, 30, Boston, MA

My boyfriend and I are celebrating our five-year anniversary this summer, and our one-year anniversary as homeowners. There is a sense of pressure to be married. First a dog, then a ring, marriage, house, and babies — it’s what I’ve heard since I was little. I’ve realized that most of it is external; that it’s what people expect. It wouldn’t change much about our relationship other than putting a ring on my finger and possibly changing my name. I think people take “husband” to mean more than boyfriend, especially in the workplace. There are so many good things that make us work that if we do get married, it will be when and how we want it to be, not because of societal expectations.

 

 

Kelsey, 25, Arkansas

As I prepare for two weddings this year where I’ll stand by my friends and watch them marry the love of their lives, I sometimes get filled with worry about when it will finally be my turn. I want the other side of life. I received a master’s degree by 24 — which is something I am so happy about — but I want to fall in love with someone and begin a new life. I also worry about being too old to have children. I want to be young [when I have them], and I know that’s a personal choice, but I have to believe that everything happens for a reason.

 

Allison, 29, Wichita, KS

I want my boyfriend to marry me. Although we own a home together and have the most beautiful baby girl, I want marriage. My wish for marriage, and a baby crying in the night, have honestly been our only conflicts throughout our relationship. For as confident as I am in myself and our relationship I often meditate on why I put the pressure on. I think lately it’s the first impression to others. For a long time I thought it was the combining of our name, our story, and our legacy, in addition to the ultimate promise to each other. I think I just want to plan “elope” with the minimum, but I think we may have a wedding one day?

 

Jenna, 32, Delaware

I recently got out of a 10-year relationship that I held on to for so long hoping it would turn into marriage — I was terrified of being in my 30s and not being married. This self-imposed pressure resulted in me being unhappy for a long time, because I figured if he didn’t want to marry me, no one would — so I stuck around. I think there has definitely been an upswing on positive social media regarding not having to fit into a certain timeline and it has helped me understand that what’s supposed to happen will happen at the right time.

 

 

Madison, 24, Tennessee

I’m about to graduate with my bachelor’s in journalism with a focus in political reporting. The reason I feel that I have to be married soon is that everyone else seems to be married, and I hate feeling like I am the only one. I’ve been together with my boyfriend for three-and-a-half years, and we have lived together for two of those, and I just feel like I’m so behind. I grew up in New England but live in Tennessee. Down here, people tend to get married younger than back home — at least in my experience.

I just feel like it makes me look more put-together and stops making people look at me funny when we aren’t even engaged and are nearing our four-year anniversary. I know deep down that marriage doesn’t make everyone respect you more, but for someone who took her time in college and still hasn’t found that “big girl” career yet, it makes me feel like that even if I haven’t found my career yet, I can have some stability in my life. It’s hard to feel like you’re so behind not only in a career, but also your love life. It’s the worst.

 

Emily, 27, Chicago, IL

I’m 27 and recently I have felt this intense pressure to get married. I have never felt this way before, but I believe it comes from being from the South where so many people are already married with at least one kid by 27. Since graduating college, I have been pretty career-focused —  I moved across the country twice for my career — which seems great. I know a lot of people admire me and think that I’m this hot-shot career woman, but it honestly gets lonely sometimes.

I sacrificed two relationships that I truly felt could have been “it” for me to focus and put my career first. Don’t get me wrong, I love my career and I feel very strongly that a woman should value and put her career first, but it’s hard. Recently, I feel like I have been fixating on the fact that I turn 28 in a few months, and not only am I not married, but I’m not even in a relationship. Sometimes, it leads me to not focus or feel as driven at work. I feel like my friends are so tired of hearing me talk about the fact that I’m not married, and the thought of up and moving to revisit those relationships that I gave up for my career has crossed my mind at least once a month for the last year. Basically, I feel like this pressure I have put on myself has lead me to acting a little crazy.

 

 

Kelly, 29, NYC, NY

Although I live in a big city now, I was raised in a small town where people usually stay put to start families. Although I’ve accomplished all of my biggest goals, whenever I’m home, I still feel that people don’t understand my singleness. I know the right relationship is coming, but it’s easy to feel pressured by my humble beginnings.

 

Amanda, 27, Louisiana

I’m from the South, so if you’re not married by your mid-20s, what are you even doing with your life? That’s probably where my pressure to get married started. I’m 27, and the older I get, the more I feel like there I’m in a race to “seal the deal.” Since my early 20s, I’ve second-guessed a lot of decisions because they could jeopardize my chances to get married — even if it was clearly the right decision for me.

I’m in a great long-term relationship, and marriage isn’t our priority right now (because #adulting and financial responsibility and so many other good reasons). But I still feel this urgency to move to the next step, and I don’t feel like I’ll ever be secure in a relationship until there is a ring on my finger. The logical part of me knows that a ring doesn’t change a relationship, but my low-key obsession with marriage never really goes away. It’s even caused me to question whether I’m in a relationship for the right reasons. I’d LOVE to get married — but for the right reasons. The pressure I put on myself is definitely something I need to work through before I can say marriage is the right choice for me. 

 

 

Melanie, 35, Bradenton, FL

I felt a self-imposed pressure to get married because all of my college friends were marrying their college boyfriends. I had always done everything “right” — good student, went to a great university, played college and professional soccer, and always “won” at everything I did. I pressured myself and my college boyfriend to get married at 27, and we were divorced by 30. I don’t quite understand why we impose this pressure, but society and societal norms do play a role in relationships.

 

Courtney, 28, Columbus, OH

I  think older generations just don’t understand why I’m not settled down with a baby. I had an old boss ask why I wasn’t waiting for a husband to purchase a house versus doing it alone — and that I better find him soon since my biological clock is ticking. (Old guys can be such stereotypes sometimes!) Also, it could be a Midwest thing, but my cousins who are younger than me are married with children.

Work and friends used to be the two sources of my pressure, until recently when all my friends started settling down. I am happy for all of them, but I have this nagging question of whether or not I’m being left behind — is it my fault I haven’t found someone? It sucks because a woman who has paid her own way through college, works full time, paid off her car, bought a house, and handles everything that comes with home ownership still isn’t seen as successful. It’s frustrating that the only accomplishment is marriage.

 

Katy, 30, Kentucky

As my 31st birthday is fast approaching, I feel the pressure increasing to “find someone.” For me, that pressure comes from being surrounded by people in serious relationships. I am literally the only single person I know right now, and it feels isolating in ways. I am also the ONLY single one out of my siblings. It can be hard to relate or find ways to get out of the house when I’m going to be the third wheel, or when no one is available because they already have plans with their significant other. This absolutely affects my relationships, my work, and my self-esteem (but I’m trying not to let it). I feel that any time I do spend time with friends, it will inevitably lead to someone trying to set me up — which in turn, makes me less likely to want to go out or hang out with friends. It feels isolation, being the “single friend,” and as I’m not getting any younger, that label feels increasingly present.

 

 

 

Danielle, 32, NYC, NY

I definitely feel this hardcore. It’s hard. I’m 32, live in my own apartment in NYC, am a director of marketing at a large media company, make six figures, work out daily, and yet, because I’m not married or in a relationship, people automatically think I’m a failure. It’s disheartening — I worked really hard to get to this place and I’m single moreso because I haven’t found the person who fits into my life and is their own person. Many of my friends are married and many relatives will berate me with questions about my dating life before they even congratulate me on my recent successes. It’s sad, but it’s reality.

 

Anonymous, 32, Chicago, IL

I come from a very small community in Iowa. I have traveled all over the world and have accomplished a lot, but when I go back to visit  the first question I’m asked is, “Are you married yet?” I am very happy, but when I hear this, it stresses me out to think I don’t know why I’m not. Am I supposed to be as successful in my personal life as my professional life? Do I need to change myself to be more outgoing or more confident? Do I need to change up my social circle?

 

Anonymous, 25, Los Angeles, CA

I grew up in an Indian family where graduating from college and marriage are the only two milestones in life. I feel obligated to find “The One,” because the kids of my parents’ friends are already engaged or soon-to-be engaged. I’m 24, and my “life plan” was to date for three-to-five years and be engaged by 26, which means I needed to find “The One” like, a year ago. I want to be a young mom, but I also don’t want to rush a marriage. It affects guys I date because I automatically rule them out for not being “marriage” material, and I instantly seek men with “husband” qualities rather than growing with my partner.

 

 

How does SK-II’s #ChangeDestiny campaign resonate with you? Leave us a comment below.

 

This post was in partnership with SK-II, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board.

 

The post Women Share Why They Feel Pressure to Get Married appeared first on The Everygirl.